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Boy George: "I stand behind the court's ruling 'cuz I trust the people. It also makes a damned handy windbreak. Windbreak. Huh-huh-huh. What were we just talking about?" DON'T BOGART THAT JOINT, YOUR HONOR, or, FREEPER MADNESS
MAY 14 -- The SCOTUS (Shameless Co-conspirators of the Unelected S**thead) ruled today that there is to be no medical necessity exception to the current status of marijuana, and its active ingredient, tetrahydrocannabinol, as an illegal Schedule I controlled substance.
Those who are in horrific pain from chemotherapy, glaucoma, rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, AIDS and many other chronic, debilitating conditions who have sought and found relief through the benefits of THC, and those kind souls who have arranged safe methods to supply it to them, are now subject to time in federal prison if they're caught distributing or possessing the DEMON WEED.
What really makes this interesting to those of us who monitor the news for items of Reich-Wing hypocrisy is the fact that this ruling nullifies the medical necessity exception laws of ten states, wherein THE PEOPLE voted overwhelmingly to make it possible for the sufferers of the aforementioned conditions to be able to feel almost human for a few hours at a time. Apparently the Reich Wing is only in favor of states' rights if the states toe the line. It's right up there with Boy George saying, "I trust the people!" and then running to the SCOTUS to keep the votes from being counted.
Add to that the fact that even on right-leaning AOL, a survey of its customers found that 81% disagreed with the ruling (and 79% on FauxNews), and you have ample evidence that the SCOTUS is painfully out of touch with what the American people want. Yeah, that thing with Gore, too. Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura (I), not generally known for being particularly liberal, testified before a Congressional commission last year that in the last days of his mother's life, her doctor prescribed her an elixir that contained, among other things, morphine and other heavy-duty substances. The result? When she died of lung disease, it was peaceful and dignified, rather than agonizing. Gov. Ventura said, "If [someone] is sick from chemo or whatever, and feels better after smoking a joint, what the hell do I care? It's none of my damn business."
Finally, there's the case of Injustice Clarence "There's a pubic hair on my Coke can" Thomas, who admitted that he partook on occasion when he was younger during his confirmation hearings in 1989. I guess he thinks we've forgotten about that, which was the first time I heard the Reich Wing utilize that expression which now makes me feel like yurking up my dinner, youthful indiscretion.
The people who use THC for medicinal purposes aren't doing it to "get high." They're not going to become "mayreejooawna addicts." They use it so they can feel like something other than week-old fertilizer. So don't bogart that joint, SCOTUS. Yank the stick out of your collective ass and let the people who need the stuff have it, for chrissake. SOME MORE SHORT TAKES
MAY 16 -- Nothing really singular has happened since the last update about which I feel it necessary to rant at length, so here are some shorties...
A Communist Under Every Bed
The Reich Wingers are still ranting and raving about Communists: how the Clinton administration was full of 'em; how they tried to rig the election so Shrub, to whom they incredibly refer as "God's Choice", would be prevented from ascending to his Divine Throne (gaaack); and how they're looking for a way to disrupt things by speaking against His Idiocy. To listen to them, you'd think there was a Communist under every bed and hiding behind every tree. Of course, since everyone who is not a Reich Winger qualifies as a commie, I guess it's true, at least to them. Do they realize how ridiculously antiquated they sound? We already know they don't want anyone to shoot reefer. Do they also shake their heads at these young girls who dress like floozies, and the boys, who all look like beatniks? By cracky, I guess I'll have to talk to someone's grandparents to learn the lingo. I get the feeling it's gonna take me a whole month of Sundays, but it's very important to me to be regarded as a hep cat.
"Read my lips: I did not have sex with that woman!"
Ah, the sweet yet spicy taste of slow-roasted payback. Ol' Jeb had to go in front of the cameras yesterday to tell the nation that he hasn't been shagging former Playboy bunny Cynthia Henderson, although rumors have indeed been circulating to that effect. Jebbie, apparently you don't understand this, but by acknowledging the rumors you lend them credibility, ha-ha.
The Jebster said, "In the Internet culture of today, it's possible to type something, and have it all over the world in a matter of minutes." Meaning it's a lot more difficult to get a little on the sly. I don't know why he's so shocked. The Reich Wing has been using the Internet for that same purpose for years. The Whackadoos were already online accusing Gore of trying to steal the "ellekshun" on the night of November 7, so they were obviously trying to make him seem illegitimate, unlike Boy George, who really is.
The Reich Wingers also say, "Well, if he DID do it," which is essentially admitting that he did, "at least it was with a beautiful woman instead of some ugly fat chick." Which is to say that this situation is somehow DIFFERENT and more ACCEPTABLE than what Bill did. I've started a pool -- how long before they refer to the extracurricular boinking as a
"youthful indiscretion"?
And finally...
Now we know why Dumbya wants to ramrod that tax cut: so we can pay his corporate masters for the screwing they're giving us during his fake energy crisis. Sickly Dick's ticker must be so tired out that it no longer pumps sufficient blood to his brain; he says we should return to nuclear -- or is it nucular? -- power, since it doesn't emit carbon dioxide. Yeah, Dick, but there IS that little problem called RADIATION. Sheesh. 
Duhbya: "Gonna wait 'til gas prices get about THIS high!"
Cheney (to self): "Man, I hope no one smells that 'smart bomb' I just dropped." CAN YOU SAY, "MINORITY LEADER TRENT LOTT"?
MAY 23 -- You may remember my mention of the sweet yet spicy taste of slow-roasted payback. As of tomorrow, May 24, Senator James Jeffords is adding a side dish: a piping hot bowl of f**k-you soup. Jeffords, a moderate-to-liberal Republican from Vermont, will throw off the yoke of the GOP to become either an Independent or a Democrat, and align himself with the Democratic Caucus.
As a result, the Democrats will have a majority in the Senate. They'll dominate all the committees, most importantly the Judiciary Committee, which is headed for the moment by Orrin Hatch (R-UT). The leading contender for the chair is Patrick Leahy (D-VT), a staunch liberal who is not known for backing away form a fight.
Why is the Judiciary Committee so important? Because that is the body that determines the viability of Supreme Court nominations. This means that unless the Manchild comes up with some halfway-decent nominations for SCOTUS should any of the current Injustices retire, there will be an orgy of Borking on Capitol Hill. One after another 'til the Manchild gets it right. Do you like it? I like it.
Jeffords took a great deal of heat from the GOP for not mindlessly supporting the Manchild's agenda, as mentioned in my April 5 rant. The Manchild spitefully issued Jeffords an "unvitation" to a ceremony in which a teacher from Vermont was to receive the title of Teacher of the Year. The GOP also threatened to take it out on Jeffords' constituency. That was the last straw. Unlike the Reich Wingers, Jeffords actually gives a s**t about his homefolks, so he's going bye-byes.
And how, you ask, are the Reich Wingers reacting to this latest bombshell?
Oh my dear chilluns, they're going absolutely bats**t.
You could almost hear the bottles of Maalox and Pepto being chugged in Reich Wing homes throughout this great nation of ours. Part of it was the stress. The other part, I think, was their collective wooziness caused by their desperate spinning. Here are just a few examples:
SPIN 1: "It doesn't matter, because as soon as Jeffords switches over, good ol' Zell Miller (D-GA) will come over to the GOP, thus canceling out the power shift, ha-ha."
STOP!: Good ol' Zell has been telling anyone who will listen, and apparently quite a few who won't, that he is a lifelong Democrat, and would not change parties, ever, under any circumstances. I live about 60 miles away from the Georgia line, so this gets local coverage. Not only is he not switching, he's also getting pretty pissed off about the rumors. My local newspaper used the verb "bark" to describe the tone of his reply to the rampant speculation. But by all means, go ahead and hold your breath.
SPIN 2: "Jeffords is practically non-existent as a Senator, and he'll continue to be so."
STOP!: Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) has promised that he will step down as projected chairman of the Senate Environment Committee in deference to Jeffords. Not only will he be existent, as he has always been, he'll be even more visible and powerful.
SPIN 3: This one is my personal fave. "Jeffords' youngest daughter had an affair with Bill Clinton!"
STOP!: Get the f**k real. Please. If you had any scruples at all, you'd be ashamed of yourselves.
SPIN 4: "He'll be impeached!"
STOP!: Yeah, you guys just LOVE impeachments, don'tcha? We know.
There's also a lot of talk about how his constituents will feel betrayed, since they voted a Republican into office. That remains to be seen. But make no mistake: Vermont is
probably the most liberal state in the nation. It's very well known that Jeffords tends to vote with the Democrats; its not as though he's a hard-line conservative who's suddenly switching over.
One of the most interesting things will be to see if Lincoln Chafee (R-RI) or John McCain (R-AZ) will follow Jeffords' lead, especially since I have the feeling that the Reich Wing is going to really get hysterical and seriously clamp down. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
In the meantime, go ahead, Shrublings. Eat your payback. Finish up your f**k-you soup.
There's Rocky Road ice cream for dessert.
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